Posted by Peter Tennant
When I was four feet tall, and each year felt like a Chinese dynasty, certain annual events used to really standout. The first hot day of summer. That strange day when there were flying ants everywhere. And the day when young adults would cry in the streets.
Apparently they had 'A-levels'. Or more accurately, they didn't.
These days, I find it harder to notice anything among the blur. Christmas is a long lunch. Summer a short weekend. But every now and again, grown men and women can still be found crying. The tears are usually less visible. But there’s no doubt about it, Fellowship applications are the A-levels of the early career researcher.
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| Vladimir Putin, after hearing he didn't get his fellowship |
In a recent post, Fuse director Martin White listed personal funding (in particular getting a Fellowship) as one of 10 "easy" steps to achieve "rapid and effective progression" in a research career. It reminded me of one of those weird logic puzzles. If Andrea is lazier than Beth, and Catherine is greedier than Delia, how many cakes will Delia eat before Andrea has woken up? In short, getting a Fellowship may make career progression easier, but it's certainly not easy to get one. At least not in my experience.
At this point, my academic enemy would probably volunteer a simple explanation. Like the overly-blunt PE teacher to the short fat boy (sorry, boy of below average height and above average weight) who doesn't understand why he's so rubbish at the high-jump. But as much as we might blame my own academic physique, the statistics tell a bruising story. For every 5-10 applications, only one will be successful.
On the surface of it, this doesn't sound too bad. At least not in a world where there are hundreds of applications for any one academic position. But firing off a job application and applying for a Fellowship are like chalk and cheese. Occasionally cheese may have a chalky texture. But I guarantee, the chalk and pickle sandwich will never catch on.
To start with, Fellowship applications belong to that special category of things that completely take over your life. Partly because they take up so much time – I reckon I did about 200 hours on my NIHR Fellowship application, not to mention the countless time staring into space 'thinking' about it. And whenever I did stop thinking about it, a friend would usually ask: "Have you heard about your Fellowship yet?".
But it's the personal focus that makes a Fellowship application so uniquely challenging. Yes, the project needs to appear excellent. But so do you. And, sadly, not just in the eyes of your Mum (sorry Mum, but I'm afraid 'having good A-levels' isn't quite enough any more). Which means there's lots to write about how great you are and why you deserve the money more than anyone else. There's no place for modesty. So if I ever come across like a egotistical jerk, I'm just practising for my next application. Honest.
Before finishing, I would like to offer some advice. Some magic formula that boosts those slim chances of acceptance. But as a twice-reject, you might as well ask McDonald's to help solve the obesity epidemic. All I can advise, is you try to keep your emotional distance. They might call it personal funding, but (believe it or not) rejection is nothing personal.
At this point, my academic enemy would probably volunteer a simple explanation. Like the overly-blunt PE teacher to the short fat boy (sorry, boy of below average height and above average weight) who doesn't understand why he's so rubbish at the high-jump. But as much as we might blame my own academic physique, the statistics tell a bruising story. For every 5-10 applications, only one will be successful.
On the surface of it, this doesn't sound too bad. At least not in a world where there are hundreds of applications for any one academic position. But firing off a job application and applying for a Fellowship are like chalk and cheese. Occasionally cheese may have a chalky texture. But I guarantee, the chalk and pickle sandwich will never catch on.
To start with, Fellowship applications belong to that special category of things that completely take over your life. Partly because they take up so much time – I reckon I did about 200 hours on my NIHR Fellowship application, not to mention the countless time staring into space 'thinking' about it. And whenever I did stop thinking about it, a friend would usually ask: "Have you heard about your Fellowship yet?".
But it's the personal focus that makes a Fellowship application so uniquely challenging. Yes, the project needs to appear excellent. But so do you. And, sadly, not just in the eyes of your Mum (sorry Mum, but I'm afraid 'having good A-levels' isn't quite enough any more). Which means there's lots to write about how great you are and why you deserve the money more than anyone else. There's no place for modesty. So if I ever come across like a egotistical jerk, I'm just practising for my next application. Honest.
Before finishing, I would like to offer some advice. Some magic formula that boosts those slim chances of acceptance. But as a twice-reject, you might as well ask McDonald's to help solve the obesity epidemic. All I can advise, is you try to keep your emotional distance. They might call it personal funding, but (believe it or not) rejection is nothing personal.
Love the honesty in this blog! Were you up against Vladimer for the last one? ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks! And, yes, me and 'Vladdy' (as I like to call him) ended up sharing a commiseratory lemonade. It turns out his tears were just down to a very cold wind.
DeleteOn a positive note (I always find a positive you know me!) we do have, and should 'take advantage of' those amongst us (not me) who have managed to get a fellowhip and join forces in helping each other with putting them together - and its good practice for putting in a grant application - now there's a blog!
ReplyDeleteI think it's always a good idea to talk to previously successful applicants. But I also think it's useful to talk to unsuccessful applicants - as they may have learnt more from the experience and know more about what *doesn't* work.
DeleteIt really does frequently come down to luck...did your application find a sympathetic reviewer? Here are some other tips that came out of a recent RSS meting for early career researchers. http://statisticalepidemiology.org/500
ReplyDeleteThanks Darren. I do worry that the external reviewers have a bit too much power, given the applicant often has no opportunity to respond (and, of course, the reviewer is usually protected by anonymity). For my second application, one of the external reviewers tore into me as a viable candidate. It was quite disappointing that I wasn't able to respond and (at least attempt to) defend myself.
DeleteI think that not being able to respond probably works out for the best as often as it doesn't. Better to grumble about the incompetence of the reviewer in private, than to risk getting overly defensive about your proposal in public :)
DeleteRemember Peter... most importantly always give plenty of notice to those poor RSOs who need to sort out the finances ;-)
ReplyDeletePreach, Sister.
DeleteQuite right Cristina. Behind every Fellowship application are some very valuable people, of which the finance research support officers are probably the most valuable of all. I originally had a paragraph on the importance of the 'backing staff', but it didn't fit with the flow... Sorry!
DeleteRight, just to set the record straight: the word 'easy' featured nowhere in my post, but appeared in the title due to editorial sleight of hand. Although I have had many lucky breaks, my career path has not all been easy and my top ten tips for success were posted very much in the vein of 'do as I say, not as I do' (as my Dad always used to say...). I would not recommend, for example, spending 13 years as a senior lecturer, nor for that matter waiting until your 50s to submit a doctoral thesis. I never won a fellowship, despite more than one attempt and I salute Peter's honesty and willingness to reveal his emotional engagement with the challenges of being an ECR in today's academic environment, which is so much more cut-throat than it was when I was a lad. Maybe I'll write another post on the 'good old days', or perhaps just expand on my own failings. For now, I stand by my top ten tips - but will perhaps see if the editor can insert some quote marks around 'easy'...
ReplyDeleteSorry, that didn't come out quite as I meant - the Fuse Blog editor often makes helpful suggestions to improve blog posts, but then always gets the author to approve the final version prior to publication. Anyway, surely EVERYONE realises that the use of 'easy' in the title was ironic? COME ON GUYS!
ReplyDelete